Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to: take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2005 winners:

1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows very little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon: The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Doppeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter, when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor: The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Two from last year:
1) Flatulance: The vehicle that takes you to the emergency room after you've be run over by a steam roller.

2) Rectitude: The stance a proctologist takes when he is about to examine you.